15 Jun How to manage ADHD in adults: Your environment is key
Do you ever struggle with nasty self-talk? I’m guessing yes, because most people do.
There was a time I genuinely believed it was impossible to live without distressing thoughts. They were so constant for me that I assumed they were just part of being human.
Turns out, they weren’t.
Negative self-talk is incredibly common. Long before my ADHD diagnosis, I was at an event with over 100 people — many of them psychologists — when the presenter asked who experienced negative self-talk. Almost every hand went up.
I was one of the few who didn’t.
That was more than a decade ago, and I still don’t have thoughts like that. Which honestly makes me so happy, because it absolutely wasn’t always this way.
From early adolescence, my inner critic was relentless and often really disturbing. But not long after I made living mindfully a non-negotiable, it stopped. Completely.
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Learning to be more mindful was key
I used to think mindfulness was something reserved for highly evolved yogis who floated through life in permanent serenity. I also assumed it would take decades to make a difference.
In reality, within a couple of months I felt calmer. About a year into regular practice, my mental health had completely shifted.
What mindfulness actually does is change our inner environment. We can actually use our brain to change our brain!
Most people with ADHD hate mindfulness at first. But this is usually because they’ve been given dodgy info. They have been given the impression that you’re supposed to instantly feel calm and have no thoughts at all.
But mindfulness isn’t about having no thoughts. It’s about noticing what’s happening, as it’s happening, without piling judgement on top. Thoughts don’t disappear — your relationship to them changes.
Once that misunderstanding is cleared up, mindfulness stops feeling like a personal failure and starts to make a lot more sense.
Sometimes it takes hitting a rough patch to commit to something new. As Thich Nhat Hanh famously put it: “No mud, no lotus.”
It’s not surprising that many adults trying to manage ADHD find mindfulness genuinely helpful — once they get past the idea that it’s “too hard” or that they’re somehow bad at it.
Working with your mind, not against it
There are many ways to work with your mind instead of constantly battling it. A brilliant episode of The Ezra Klein Show explores this idea in conversation with Anne Murphy Paul, author of The Extended Mind.
One of the key problems they unpack is the way we’ve come to treat the human mind like a computer. Computers perform the same way regardless of context.
Human minds don’t. Our thinking is deeply shaped by our internal and external environments — our bodies, our surroundings, natural rhythms, and our relationships.
Modern life has been designed as though we don’t. Busyness and constant “doing” have become markers of worth. Without consciously developing healthier mental habits — slowing down, being present, building in rest and movement — we end up working against our own minds. Especially if you have ADHD.
Anne Murphy Paul makes the point that things like taking a walk aren’t leisure or laziness — they’re essential for thinking well.
Our brains evolved outdoors, not under fluorescent lights, sitting still all day.
No wonder nature, light, movement, or even a view from a window can make such a difference to our wellbeing. It really is a combination of creating the best external and internal environments for our brains to function at our best.
Mindfulness can be a game-changer for ADHD
For me, mindfulness allowed me to let go of a lifestyle that simply wasn’t compatible with my mind. Who and what we surround ourselves with matters.
And it’s not just about the ‘external’ world. By cultivating more presence, we can also change our internal environment. Moment by moment, without judgement, it becomes much clearer what supports us and what doesn’t.
That clarity makes managing ADHD as an adult far more doable — and life far more enjoyable. And the best bit? You can turn any activity into a mindfulness practice, even the most enjoyable ones!
What’s one thing you could do this week that would genuinely support your mental wellbeing — something you enjoy, not something that feels like another task?
