11 Oct Two simple ADHD parenting tools to reduce meltdowns
Do you have difficulty tearing your kids away from something they love doing without a battle? If this is an all too familiar scenario, don’t despair! I have two super simple ADHD parenting tools for reducing meltdowns that make transitions so much easier.
You’ve may have heard that timers can help kiddos go from one activity to the next – like their favourite game on their Nintendo switch to the dinner table. But unless you know how to use them, it can backfire big time.
Here’s where a lot of parents get it wrong – through no fault of their own, I might add- this stuff is hard! Instead of using timers support their kids to transition from one thing to the next, they use them to limit what their kids love doing. It’s a subtle but critical difference.
The trick is to remember that timers are a tool to ‘scaffold’ them going from one thing to the next with ease. I’ve seen it work a thousand times with my son who’s autistic and has ADHD.
BTW, I also recognise that there will be exceptions Not every tool will work with every kid. That said, HOW we use them makes a huge difference.
Two ways I use timers that work wonders
Instead of telling my Harry how long he has to do something at the beginning, I only use them at the end of an activity, and then I use a timer to extend his time. Or sometimes I might say he has three minutes left, and then I’ll extend that by one more minute, and sometimes another minute again if it’s a particularly tricky transition. That way, he sees it as a bonus, not a restriction.
We use timers every night for reading before sleep and pretty much anytime he’s doing something he loves but needs to move on to something else. The beauty is, these days, it’s super easy to do. You can just ask Alexa or Google Home (or Google assistant, Siri etc. on your phone) to set a timer, which is a Godsend when you’re juggling a million things as a parent.
Visual timers are super valuable, especially with the little ones, so they can see the time winding down. It helps because they know what’s coming rather than being blindsided by a sudden “Time’s up!” For Harry, knowing what’s coming next is hugely helpful.
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The countdown reinvented
Another, far more supportive way to use the countdown is as a kind of “lift-off” of sorts. 🚀
To give you an example, once the time has gone off, I might say “OK, Harry, it’s time to turn the iPad off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…..” said quite quickly. Or, “It’s time to come and have dinner in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…. Up you get!”
I was astounded how much easier it made it for him to stop what he was doing the first time I saw an OT use this tool with Harry. He could move onto what she wanted him to be doing so much more easily and I’ve been using it ever since!
At the end of the day, it’s all about scaffolding our kids to be able to do things they find difficult more easily. Transitions can be hard for those of us with ADHD and/or who are autistic, but they can be way less stressful for everyone involved with the right tools. The trick is to make sure they’re being used in a supportive way.
P.S. Visual Countdown Timer gets a good wrap and is available from both Appstore and Google Play if you’re looking for visual timer Apps
